It takes a lot to pull yourself out of a hard time. It’s especially hard when you’ve found comfort in a vicious cycle of mental unhealthiness. When you find comfort in your sadness because you grow so used to it, why would you want change?

Eventually, you have to do something or else your circumstances will become consequences and affect your relationships with yourself and your life. That means an exhausting (but well worth it) healing journey.

Everyone’s healing journey looks different, but the thing that remains the same is that first step.

For me, I need to take things one step at a time or else it will become too overwhelming to take on. That means taking a look at all the goals I want to accomplish. 

I want to lose weight and shift my body composition. I want to be less stressed and anxious. I want to continue putting out content and growing my brand as a sports personality. These three goals alone take a lot of time and effort.

Breaking the goals down into smaller goals helps me achieve them little by little without getting burnt out and stressed. This means things I would do on a daily or weekly basis and check in regularly to see how I’m doing. 

For others, major goals broken down into smaller goals don’t quite work. It could be just jumping right into what they need to do. It could be waiting until the time is right to achieve what they want to achieve. But taking that first step and continuing to take those steps are vital in your journey.

When I started taking my mental health seriously, I realized that my enemy would have to become my friend: accountability. It’s not that I don’t hold myself accountable, but continuing to hold myself accountable is the kicker. I can show up for myself one day, but not the next. These inconsistencies will not give you the results you’re looking for.

The thing about accountability is it’s not only about how you react with yourself, but also how people react around you. If you’re changing and improving yourself, you’re going to see that not everyone is in your corner. If they are, then great, because you’ve got a great support system backing you. But in some cases, not everyone has your best interest at heart.

This happens for a multitude of reasons. The person in your corner is comfortable with you being in the vicious cycle you, and they, are comfortable with being in. They might not realize it, but subconsciously they’re comfortable with using you and disrespecting your boundaries and relationship. Your poor mental health is their benefit.

Another reason is that they are either used to their own vicious cycle or are too unmotivated to fix it, so watching you change your life will make them jealous. They will try to bring you down because of their jealousy.

When you grow and they don’t your personalities clash because you’re doing better but they want you to stay the same because they’re comfortable with it. When you set those boundaries, they get frustrated because they can’t overstep them to their benefit. When you hold yourself accountable, they are jealous because they won’t do the same.

Your healing journey might get lonely because of it. It’s better to lose dead weight than to lose yourself. You live in your body, so it’s important to continue showing up for your first at the end of the day. The thing about holding yourself accountable is that, eventually, you will find the likeminded support system that will help you continue working toward a better you.