Who else is side-eyeing the Atlanta Falcons right now?
I’m over here sipping tea and cackling at how they turned the 2025 NFL Draft into a hot mess express, dragging their sorry selves through the mud with the Shedeur Sanders prank call debacle.
This ain’t just a one-off; it’s the latest chapter in Atlanta’s playbook of flops, and I’m serving the shade piping hot.
Picture this: Shedeur Sanders, Colorado’s QB god with a rocket arm and ice in his veins, is posted up on draft day, heart racing, ready for his NFL glow-up. His phone buzzes, and some clown posing as Saints GM Mickey Loomis hits him with, “We’re drafting you!”—only to cackle, say “psych,” and hang up.
Shedeur’s face? Pure “what the hell,” caught raw on his brother Deion Jr.’s Well Off Media livestream. The whole room’s thrown, and it’s no wonder why: the prankster’s buddy got Shedeur’s private draft number from none other than Jax Ulbrich, the 21-year-old kid of Falcons defensive coordinator Jeff Ulbrich.
Jax, apparently allergic to common sense, swiped the digits off his dad’s unsecured iPad like it was a group chat invite and passed it to his pal for kicks. Atlanta, y’all really out here running a billion-dollar franchise like it’s a sketchy flea market stall?
Let’s talk about Jeff Ulbrich, the so-called defensive mastermind who can’t even lock down his own crib. This man’s supposed to be scheming up blitzes, but he let his kid turn Shedeur’s draft day into a bad TikTok prank.
Jax’s apology on X was some “I’m sorry I got caught” vibes, and the Falcons’ statement? Weaker than their pass rush in a clutch game.
The NFL wasn’t playing, though—slapped Atlanta with a $250K fine and Jeff with a $100K hit for failing to secure confidential info. But let’s be real: that’s chump change for a team that’s been bleeding fans dry with overpriced seats and undercooked seasons since forever.
This ain’t the Falcons’ first rodeo in the screw-up circus. Flash back to 2017’s 28-3 Super Bowl choke against the Patriots—Atlanta had that game in the bag and still gagged it harder than a reality TV elimination.
Then there’s the 2023 tampering scandal with Kirk Cousins, where they got caught sweet-talking him before free agency, costing them a fifth-round pick and $250K.
And don’t forget the constant drama with their coaching carousel—Arthur Smith got the boot after three losing seasons, and Raheem Morris is still trying to clean up the mess. The Falcons stay moving like they’re auditioning for a reboot of NFL’s Biggest Fumbles, and the Shedeur prank is just the latest episode.
What stings extra is who Shedeur is: a Black quarterback carrying the weight of his dad Deion Sanders’ legend, dodging doubters at every turn.
His contact info was already out there since Coach Prime was his rep, no agent. Atlanta still couldn’t keep it secure, letting Jax and his buddy turn a sacred moment into a cheap laugh. That’s not just sloppy—it’s straight-up disrespectful, and the X Platform’s been lighting the Falcons up for it.
One user hit the nail: “Atlanta’s out here acting like they’re one bad decision away from selling the team to a Dollar Tree.” Shedeur, king that he is, brushed it off, landing with the Cleveland Browns in the fifth round, but the Falcons? They’re stuck in the gutter, marinating in their own mess.
This prank call ain’t just a bad look—it’s a neon sign flashing “Atlanta’s trash and proud of it.” From Super Bowl collapses to tampering fines to now this, the Falcons keep proving they’re the NFL’s messiest ex, leaving a trail of drama no one asked for.
Catch the full roast on X, where fans are dragging them to filth. Atlanta, grab a broom and sweep yourselves up—this L’s gonna sting for a minute.
First & Jenn 
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