If shady business practices in a video game doesn’t entice you, I’m not sure what will. The Sims 4 will deliver small business vibes and side quests in their next expansion pack, “Businesses and Hobbies.”
Here are five things I’m most excited for with the release of this new pack.
1. Master the Art of Totally Legal Fire-Related Financial Strategies

“Accidents happen. Maybe the oven mysteriously combusts. Maybe a candle accidentally falls onto that highly flammable pile of business paperwork. But hey, that’s why SimNation has insurance, right? Nothing like turning a little whoopsieinto a golden financial opportunity. Just, uh… make sure your Sim gets out in time.”
2. Invest in SimoCoin and Become a Totally Legit Crypto Bro

“The future of business? Decentralization. The reality of SimCoin? A total rollercoaster. Will your Sim become a self-proclaimed Financial Guru (with absolutely no credentials) and convince the townies to ‘invest’ in their latest blockchain hustle? Or will they go all in, lose everything, and end up flipping burgers at the diner? Either way, we’re manifesting biggains and even bigger delusions.”
3. Teach ‘Educational’ Classes With Questionable Qualifications

“Want to teach a pottery class but have never touched clay? Offer tattoo lessons but don’t know a needle from a paintbrush? In The Sims 4: Businesses & Hobbies, your Sim can confidently teach subjects they know absolutely nothingabout—because who needs expertise when you’ve got vibes? Just remember: refunds are for quitters.”
4. Give the Townies Some… Unforgettable Ink

“You know what they say: ‘A tattoo is forever… unless you’re rich enough to remove it.’ Will your Sim become the Michelangelo of ink, or will their clientele be walking cautionary tales? Either way, SimNation is about to be filled with some very unique body art, whether the townies like it or not.”
5. Spin Cycle Finances: The Totally Innocent Laundromat Scheme

“Laundry Day meets Business & Hobbies in this perfectly normal entrepreneurial venture. Your Sim runs a laundromat, providing a valuable service to the community. But if a few extra simoleons happen to ‘get cleaned’ along with the socks? That’s just good business strategy. Who’s to say where those funds came from? Certainly not the IRSim.”

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